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"hello, I´m in Delaware" and "home"


So strange how my life seems to change it´s path, in so sort time.

Right now I´m listeing to "transatlanticism" by death cab for cutie, the last song I´ve heard from you.

The songs in the headline are those that suit my feelings right now.

I feel lost. Even more than before.

Cause now the possibility to loste you, and you vanishing out of my life completely is quite near.

You said you needed time, I said i will give you as much as you need, you asked if i would wait, I said yes, of course. 

So now I´ll wait. Unable to do anything. Numb, thats the way I felt yesterday at the phone and how I feel right now.

I can pretend to see everything quite mature but I´m hurt.

But I will wait and continue loving and hoping.

"so strange how everything went wrong so fast"- Dallas green.

I still can´t get what happend. I´m waking up and the first thought is that this didn´t happen. It´s just impossible.

Our love, everything changed so fast, and now I´m sitting in my room, drowning in thoughts and the memory of you, the picture haunt me cause every familiar place is patched with memorys of you.

It doesn´t quite feel like "goodbye" but I don´t know why I´m so fucking sad.

I hate waking up, and not 10 minutes after that I´m crying again.

just like now. It´s hard. so hard.You cried yesterday saying you were sorry, that makes you even more lovable.

I can understand how you feel right now, cause it´s the same what I´ve experienced  in the past , so I guess that my "fortune" wants me to experience the same now. Like always. It´s so predictable.

You know, we might learn from this and find together after this, or we´ll part painfully.

But I´ll wait.

 

2.7.09 09:40
 


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