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ich denke nach und sehe mich, und merke dass ich nun wirklich in den teil deiner verhassten welt die außerhalb canada ist gerutscht bin..und ich hasse mich.
1.8.09 00:40


so that how it goes

The final line is drawed.

Thats how Life goes, I guess.
But I´m grateful for the precious time I´ve had with you.

So I guess we´ll both live on, right!?

I´m not sad anymore. I´m more happy that my memorie weill not turn more negaive in your mind, and the fact that I know that people like you actually exist, give me kind of a happy feeling.


18.7.09 09:27

When I look at things I wrote a few weeks ago, or stuff I´ve thought, stuff I´ve felt, stuff I´ve seen or mostly stuff that I connect to you, it seems like I´ve been living a diffrent life, it seems kind of unreal.


6.7.09 15:58

"Transatlanticism" Death Cab for Cutie

I´m awake now for 18 hours.

I can´t sleep.

I think that not talking to eachother completely isn´t the best thing to do.

3.7.09 00:59

"Transatlanticism" Death Cab for Cutie

I´m awake now for 18 hours.

I can´t sleep.

I think that not talking to eachother completely isn´t the best thing to do.

3.7.09 00:56

"hello, I´m in Delaware" and "home"

So strange how my life seems to change it´s path, in so sort time.

Right now I´m listeing to "transatlanticism" by death cab for cutie, the last song I´ve heard from you.

The songs in the headline are those that suit my feelings right now.

I feel lost. Even more than before.

Cause now the possibility to loste you, and you vanishing out of my life completely is quite near.

You said you needed time, I said i will give you as much as you need, you asked if i would wait, I said yes, of course. 

So now I´ll wait. Unable to do anything. Numb, thats the way I felt yesterday at the phone and how I feel right now.

I can pretend to see everything quite mature but I´m hurt.

But I will wait and continue loving and hoping.

"so strange how everything went wrong so fast"- Dallas green.

I still can´t get what happend. I´m waking up and the first thought is that this didn´t happen. It´s just impossible.

Our love, everything changed so fast, and now I´m sitting in my room, drowning in thoughts and the memory of you, the picture haunt me cause every familiar place is patched with memorys of you.

It doesn´t quite feel like "goodbye" but I don´t know why I´m so fucking sad.

I hate waking up, and not 10 minutes after that I´m crying again.

just like now. It´s hard. so hard.You cried yesterday saying you were sorry, that makes you even more lovable.

I can understand how you feel right now, cause it´s the same what I´ve experienced  in the past , so I guess that my "fortune" wants me to experience the same now. Like always. It´s so predictable.

You know, we might learn from this and find together after this, or we´ll part painfully.

But I´ll wait.


2.7.09 09:40

the Getaway Plan-where the city meets the sea.

I´m getting more resignated.

It seems like I´m loosing sight of you, and I don´t feel you that much anymore.

But I don´t want that, my love.

Where are you?

I don´t want to have to wait anymore.

16.6.09 20:28

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